Three sentences I seem to be saying a lot at the moment:
1. Any day now
2. A little boy
3. No, we won’t be trying for a girl.
The third one REALLY pisses me off. When people hear that we are having a third little boy, 9 times out of 10 their response is something along the lines of ‘Oh, so you’ll be trying again for a girl?’. One old woman on the bus even went as far as to say to Graham that he wasn’t a man because he hadn’t given me a girl. What the actual f**k??
When I was pregnant with Alex, someone actually said to me that they were sorry when they found out baby number 2 was also a boy. I was completely confused – why were they sorry? We certainly weren’t! The same person has made similar comments this time as well. They genuinely think we should be upset that bump is another boy.
Of course, we would both love a little girl. I have no problem in saying that, and I joke that I’m going to put Ben in dresses and pretend he is a girl. But seriously, would either of us change the fact he is a boy? Absolutely not. We thought this time round we were having a girl. After having two boys most people would probably think the same. This pregnancy was different from the start as well, so when Benjamin gave us a very clear flash of his boy bits, we were a bit surprised but over the moon. All we wanted was a healthy baby, and with so many people unable to have children, I don’t feel we have any right to be choosy about the sex of our kids.
I also hate people using the word ‘trying’ – like having a girl is something we should be aiming for. We could ‘try’ forever and end up with a football team of boys. Three kids is what we wanted. Three boys is what we will have.
For us, three boys is actually ideal. They will be very close in age – there is only 16 months in between Harrison and Alex, and there will be 2 years in between Alex and Ben. Three boys under 3.5. It’s going to be hard work but I think because they are all boys and so close in age they will grow up to be best friends, and look after one another. In terms of practicality it is easier as well. We have had to buy very little as we kept all the clothes from Harrison and Alex. Clothes and toys can be passed down, saving us a fortune. They can all share a bedroom. We do live in a three bed house but the third room is so tiny and cold, we wouldn’t want to use it as a bedroom. Instead they will all share the big room and have lots of fun in there together.
I know the ‘trying for a girl’ comment will be something we will be asked over and over again for many years to come. At the moment I just smile and tell them no, we won’t be having any more, but I know as the kids get older I will probably get less and less tolerant of being asked.
Please, if you see someone with more than once child of the same sex, don’t ask them if they’re going to keep going until they have one of the other, or tell them you feel sorry for them!!